Dead Inside
by neon maverick
Summary: Cody is left helpless in hospital when bullying goes too far. How will this affect everyone, especially the twins?
1. Tell him how you feel

_Everyone kept sending me PMs to put this version of Dead Inside back on the site, so I did. I haven't changed anything, except the summary, because I can' t have the same summary for both.  
_

People purposely pushed past Cody as he walked to his locker. Zack was already at the locker, watching it all, doing nothing. Cody stumbled up to the locker and glanced at Zack sourly.

'Thanks for helping, bro!' Cody said sarcastically.

'Gee, who pulled your chain?' Zack was a little annoyed that Cody was late to his locker, and that he had greeted him with such a mean remark. But there were those same pangs of guilt that washed through him when he saw Cody and what happened around him.

Cody pushed back his bangs before looking at Zack with a 'Sure, like you don't know' look on his face.

'_Sorry_, but please hurry up, man, I'm tired!'

Cody suddenly burst. He was tired of Zack thinking nothing was wrong. He was tired of being the school's _geek and nerd and dork_. He was tired of being _him._

'Look, Zack, I'm tired! I'm tired of you pushing me around like I'm your own personal _puppet_! Do you know what it's like to be bullied so bad that you lock yourself in your room with your music up so loud that no-one can you yelling how much you _hate _yourself?! Do you?!'

Zack was taken aback by that. He didn't actually know how much all this had hurt his twin.

'Look, Codeman, I'm-'

'Save it!' Cody put a hand up to stop his brother but he obviously didn't get the drift.

'But I-'

Cody slammed the locker door shut, stopping Zack abruptly. He picked up his bag and swung it over his shoulder, missing his twin's head by inches. Cody walked away, leaving Zack gawping after him. Then he noticed everyone was staring.

'And if you lot had any self-respect, you'd _FUCK OFF_!' he snapped before running after his brother. But Cody was long gone. The difference between Zack and Cody was Cody walked very fast whereas Zack dawdled. And Zack dawdled today. Not because he was lazy. Because he couldn't face his brother. Not yet.

_Sorry it is a bit short but anyway please review??_


	2. Collapse

Cody stared at the knife in his hand. Carey was at a gig, and Zack wasn't back yet. It was the perfect time to do it. To cut. He had always thought it was stupid to do so, but now it made more sense to him. He had 2 friends. Tapeworm and Max. Zack didn't really count, did he? He put the knife to his upper arm and slid the knife across it. Blood spilled out of his arm but not much of it. Just a few drops. He did the same to the other arm. He walked inside the bathroom, and closed the door. He started to cut his upper arms and legs. He was careful not to slit his wrists because he didn't feel like dying, not yet.

Then he heard the door click. The suite door creaked open.

'Cody?'

Zack. He was here. And Cody didn't want to answer. Zack knocked on the bathroom door.

'Cody?'

Cody scooted around clearing everything up, blood and all, and then walked out the bathroom, head held high. He had his sleeves and pants rolled down so the cuts were not visible.

'Cody.'

Silence.

'Cody!' Zack grabbed Cody's arms and pulled him back.

'Oww!!! Get off me!'

'No!' But his grip loosened. 'Why didn't you tell me earlier that you were being bullied?'

'Oh yeah, like you would actually care!'

'I _do _care, Cody!'

'You knew!'

Zack was taken up-short. He _did_ know. Cody pulled away and walked off into the bedroom. Zack went and sat down on the couch. He put his head in his hands and cried silently. Cody had never been _really _furious at him. He'd been annoyed. He'd been angry. He'd been frustrated. But he'd really been actually _furious_.

CZCZCZCZ

Cody sat down on the bed. He was starting to feel really dizzy.

_I think I've lost quite a lot of blood._

Cody fell back on the pillows of his bed, and his head lolled. His headache grew and his world turned black.

CZCZCZCZ

Cody leant against his locker and closed his eyes. Dizziness washed over him every few seconds. He sensed someone in front of him.

'Hey, Cody? Hello? What have you got next?' Tapeworm asked.

'Biology.' came Cody's mumble.

'So have I. You coming?'

'Yeah.'

'Are you alright?'

'Yes.'

Cody opened his eyes and started to walk to Biology. Another wave of dizziness came over him, and he heard a voice call his name before he blacked out. Unmistakably Zack's voice.

CZCZCZCZ

'Cody!' Zack yelled as his brother fell forward. Cody hit the floor with a large crack. Zack ran over to his brother. Everyone let him past and then circled round the twins.

'Cody? Buddy? Can you hear me? Talk to me, buddy, come on.'

Cody made a feeble grunting noise.

'Someone call 911!'

'Why should we call 911 for this loser?' Drew piped up. Tapeworm started pressing the numbers into his cell phone. Zack stood up and faced Drew.

'What did you say?' he hissed. He sounded so evil that even Drew backed off.

'Err…I said we're calling 911 right now.' he said.

'That's better.' Zack said, his voice dripping with venom. He knelt back down and pulled Cody's head into his lap. The sirens could already be heard in the distance. In a few minutes, paramedics ran through the school doors, and pushed everyone out the way, even Zack. They lifted Cody up on to a stretcher and took him over to an ambulance outside. They were about to shut the doors to the ambulance when Zack came up.

'Sorry, son, we can't let you in.'

'Hey, I'm his twin, I have to be with him, he'll be scared if he wakes up and he doesn't know anyone! Please let me in!'

The paramedics talked among themselves for a few seconds. Eventually, one turned round.

'Fine, get in! Go, go, go!'

Zack climbed in and leaned over Cody, holding his hand. Paramedics buzzed around him, making sure Cody was breathing and all that. Zack zoned out, and started whispering to Cody.

'I'm sorry, Cody, please don't die, if I have ever done anything to hurt you, I take it all back, please, just wake up…'


	3. What?

_Hiya guys! You may find some Cody's POV funny, cos I found it quite fun to write. But anyway, hope you enjoy!_**  
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* * *

**Cody's POV**

I leant against my locker, closing my eyes. I felt dizzy every few seconds. I had lost a lot of blood last night. And I did it this morning too. I'm going out of my mind. I felt someone in front of me. It's probably Tapeworm. I really doubt it's anyone else. Unless they've come to beat me up. Again.

'Hey, Cody?' Yep, that's Tapeworm. 'Hello?' Hello. Oh right, I have to say it aloud, don't I? 'What have you got next?' Answering involves effort, doesn't it?

'Biology.' I mumble. It's a miracle that he heard me.

'So have I. You coming?'

I wish I wasn't.

'Yeah.'

Damn that mouth of mine.

'Are you alright?'

Everyone hates me, I have one friend, I feel sick, I feel like cutting…but hey, other than that, I'm just peachy.

'Yes.'

I really have to learn to control my mouth. Unless it's just easier if I learn to lie all the time. It's the only way to keep everyone happy. I heave myself off my locker, open my eyes, and start to walk to Biology.

Another wave of dizziness sweeps over me, and the black hole returns, ready to take me. I can feel myself falling. Falling…falling…falling…

'Cody!'

Zack. That was Zack…that was Zack…the falling stops and I hit the ground with a large crack. That's going to hurt in the morning.

I feel another presence, then another, then another…then a warm one. That's got to be Zack. He's by my side. Right now.

'Cody? Buddy? Can you hear me? Talk to me, buddy, come on.'

I can't, Zack. I want to, but I can't. I want to acknowledge him, I just can't. The best I could do was a small noise, I bet it sounded so stupid.

'Someone call 911!' I hear Zack shouting. Is he actually helping me?

'Why should we call 911 for this loser?' Charming. That was obviously Drew.

The warm presence left. Where was Zack going? I knew he didn't care that much.

'What did you say?' I heard Zack hiss. He's defending me now? Blimey, bro, make up your mind!

'I said we're calling 911 right now.' Drew again. Was he actually _scared _of my brother?

'That's better.' I heard Zack say, very, very evilly.

There's a bit of shuffling and the warm presence is back, pushing my head into its lap. I can feel Zack's fingers in my hair as very faint sirens are heard in the distance. A few minutes later, I hear the door burst open ad paramedics are shouting at people to move. I'm lifted up on to an uncomfortable bed; I think it's a stretcher. The warm presence doesn't leave.

'Sorry, son, we can't let you in.'

Huh?

'Hey, I'm his twin, I have to be with him, he'll be scared if he wakes up and he doesn't know anyone! Please let me in!'

I heard whispering for a few moments.

'He does look worried.'

'But this boy is in a critical condition.'

**I'm what?!**

* * *

**Normal POV**

Zack paced outside Cody's room, waiting for their mother to arrive. He had been told that he could not go in there without a parent. But he couldn't resist.

Zack slowly opened the door to his little brother's room. He looked so small in the hospital bed that Zack nearly cried.

'Hey, you! What are you doing in there? You should wait for you parents!'

Having a doctor shout at him angrily made Zack want to cry even more. 'Please, I have to see my twin. Please…?'

'Oh, right.' Now having known why Zack was going in there, the doctor felt sorry for him. 'Sorry, son. It's just that your brother's in a critical condition.'

**He's what?!**

* * *

_Okay, I know, I'm taking ages to update, but…I don't get inspiration for this one either. Oh well, please don't bug me about waiting, that'll just make me write slower. Please R+R!_


	4. Awakened

_5 months later…_

Zack flipped through the channels on the TV. He was sitting in the suite, running a hand through his tousled hair every now and then. There were dark circles round his eyes. When he sat in the hospital, he couldn't sleep or eat. His mom had told him to go home to sleep, but he knew that wasn't possible. What if Cody had a relapse? What if he woke up? What if…? There were so many possibilities.

Maddie walked in, holding a tray of food. 'Hey Zack.'

Zack looked towards her, lazily picking up his head. 'Hey.' He smiled slightly.

'Moseby asked me to bring this up for you. He's worried about you.' Maddie lowered the tray on to his lap and Zack fiddled with the cutlery.

'Who would have thought…Moseby's worried about _me_?' Zack dipped his finger in the soup and licked it. Suddenly he pushed the tray on to the floor and ran into the bathroom, vomiting in the toilet.

When he came back, he looked worse than ever. Maddie was kneeling down on the carpet, cleaning up the food and spraying the damp carpet. She looked up. 'You alright?'

Zack hung his head. 'Sorry.' He knelt down to help her but she pushed him away.

'Just _try_ to sleep, Zack, maybe you'll feel better.' Zack started to protest but Maddie pointed towards the couch. 'Sleep. Now go.' She shooed him away, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

He lay down on the couch and Maddie got up, picking up the upturned bowl and plate. 'I'm not going anywhere, so…' she caught sight of him on the couch, already asleep.

Maddie smiled. 'As I said, I'm not going anywhere.' She whispered.

_Cody's eyelid fluttered slightly. It was such a small movement for Carey to realise what was going on, so after a few minutes, she went down to the canteen to grab some coffee. His ring finger and middle finger both twitched. He opened his eyes for a split second and then closed them again, groaning. Eventually, he summoned up the courage to open them again, facing the light. A young female doctor walked in and saw Cody's small movements. _

Maddie hurried over to the phone, which was ringing loudly, bound to wake Zack up soon. She picked it up quietly.

'Hello?' she whispered.

'_Maddie? What are you doing there?'_ Carey sounded ready to explode.

'Moseby asked me to bring some food up for Zack.' Zack opened his eyes sleepily.

'_Can I speak to Zack?'_

Maddie didn't notice he was awake. 'Actually he's asleep right now.' Zack couldn't be bothered to tell her he was awake, so he closed his eyes again.

'Why?' Zack opened one eye, hearing the urgency in her voice.

'_It's Cody…'_

Maddie dropped the phone in shock. Zack opened his other eye and sat up straight. 'What? What is it?'

Maddie turned towards him. 'It's your brother. He's awake.'

**I put Cody's little paragraph in italics because it was too short to be singled out with lines. So sorry for keeping people waiting for half a year, but I've got a bit more inspiration now. Please Review!! I love you guys!!**


	5. Compassion

Zack bolted up from the couch, forgetting the sharp pain in his head from the sudden movement. 'What?!'

'Whoa, whoa. Zack, calm down.' Maddie held her hands up defensively. She picked up the phone and held it to her ear, but the line was dead.

'Okay. I'm calm. Now can I go see him?' Zack was shaking.

Maddie picked up the car keys on the side. 'I think that would be acceptable.' She said, twirling them round her finger.

Zack ran out of the suite, and Maddie ran after him, grabbing his jacket on the way.

* * *

'Drive faster, Maddie.' Zack shivered. 'What if he's out again by the time we get there?'

Maddie noticed his shudder. 'Look, I only just learnt to drive. I'm still a little bumpy. I put your jacket on the backseat if you want it.'

Zack leaned through the gap between his seat and Maddie's and grabbed it. 'Thanks.' He said, shrugging it on.

'It's my job.' Maddie smiled.

'But you aren't a concierge.' Zack grinned. He was feeling happy, yet anxious.

'Very funny. But I am a candy girl, and here's your candy.' Maddie kept her eyes on the road, but reached in her purse and grabbed a chocolate bar, handing it to him.

'Thanks Maddie. For everything.' Zack turned his head back to the road, sighing.

'I told you, it's my job.'

'But you –'

'As a friend, Zack.'

* * *

Zack ran past the front desk. They knew who he was, and him them. He ran to his brother's room and flung open the door. Cody was asleep; Zack thought for a split second that everyone had lied, that Cody had never woken up, that he would never wake up.

But, suddenly, he noticed something. Cody was on his side. No patient in a coma will sleep like that. He smiled, biting his lip and feeling tears prick in his eyes. Cody's head moved slightly and he turned over as if nothing had ever happened and he was still sleeping in his own bed back at the hotel. Zack walked over slowly, not really noticing the fact that his mother wasn't there. He sauntered over to the side where he could see his brother's face. He crouched down in front of him and smiled.

Cody opened his eyes, sensing that someone he loved was near. He saw his brother's face there and smiled very slightly. Zack nearly cried at the sight of him. 'Well, here I am. In all my white coloured glory.' Cody said quietly.

Zack knew that when you're dealing with a bad situation with his twin, you had to go straight to the point. 'And red.' He whispered back, playing with Cody's fingernails.

'Huh?' Cody watched Zack's movements, his eyes flitting from each finger to another.

'I saw your scars, Cody, we all did. Blood…there so much blood. Why did you do it, Codes?'

Cody acted dumb. 'Why red then?'

'_Blood is red_, Cody. I nearly puked when I pulled up your sleeves.' Zack felt tears roll down his cheeks.

'Why did you pull up my sleeves?' Cody pulled his hand away from Zack's, causing his brother to jump.

'I couldn't let you sleep in those clothes for five months, could I?' Zack said, like it was the most obvious thing.

'F-five months?' Cody's eyes widened.

Zack suddenly felt so sorry for his brother it was untrue. 'Y-yeah. Didn't you know?'

'Oh. Huh. Okay.' Cody breathed deeply. 'So what have you been doing in that time?'

'Nothing. Just sitting here, next to you.' Zack fiddled with his hair.

Cody smiled slightly. 'Really?' He sounded genuinely surprised.

'Yeah. You know, Cody, I couldn't live with myself. I thought you were never gonna talk to me again. I thought you'd hate me.' Zack's tears were still coming.

'I would never hate you, Zack.' Cody sounded like he was going to say something else, but didn't.

Zack broke eye contact with his younger brother. 'Am I…am I the reason you did it?'

Cody looked down. He was going to say something, when Maddie knocked on the door. Both twins looked up, and Zack nodded slightly and she came in.

Maddie came in and went round to that side. She immediately bent down and gave Cody a hug. He smiled, but couldn't hug her back. 'How are you?' she smiled at him.

'Better.' He smiled back.

Zack slipped out of the room unnoticed. It occurred to him, he hadn't told him he loved him or even hugged his brother. What kind of brother doesn't talk to his twin for five months, and then not even show any compassion towards him?

What kind of brother does that?

**Please Review!! I feel unloved at the moment, I'm not getting reviews. **


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